Silent Hill Musical Cabaret
by Ariel Rivka
Summary: Warning, shows my be rated C for Cheeziness, viewer discretion is advised.
1. Rent

**A.N.- This is a project that me and my brother are working on to show our undying love for the theater and Silent Hill. (We may also do one of these for Resident Evil.) We will accept and song suggestions as long as…**

**We know it well enough.**

**It's a Broadway song.**

**Although this is titled humor, not every song is funny! Some are meant to be sweet, sad, or just plain enjoyable. Please leave reviews and take you're seats.**

…**(In B'Way Babie's room…)**

**B'Way Babie's Brother: I think Vincent should be Benny.**

**B'Way Babie: (Snapping.) You think Vincent should be g-d!**

**B'Way Babie's Brother: N-o-o-o, I think Vincent should be the president. (Pause.) Luis Sera should be g-d.**

**B'Way Babie: (Groan.) **

**B'Way Babie's Brother: Oh, hey…there's people! Hiya!**

**B'Way Babie: (To Brother.) Shut up! (To Audience.) Hello there and welcome to Silent Hill Musical Cabaret!**

**B'Way Babie's Brother: (Sarcastically and dully.) Woot!**

**B'Way Babie: We are very glad you could join us tonight. Please find you're seats. As it is, I've always felt silent Hill should move to the stage. Now it has!...er…sorta. Presenting tonight will by some of mine and my brother's favorite musical's Silent Hill-a-fied! **

**B'Way's Brother: (Rolls eyes.) So immature…**

**B'Way Babie: And now, first up from **_Rent_**, the song **_Rent _**from **_Rent _**sung by the protagonists as an opening act. So long!**

**B'Way Babie's Brother: (Grumbling.) I still think Vincent should have been Benny…**

_(The camera lights up dimly on a darkened stage with fog floating a few inches from the ground. The music Rent from Rent starts up and HARRY MASON runs out, turning around and searching the area desperately for something.)_

HARRY: What do you do when real life's suddenly torn away from you're life? Monster's, demon's, fog covers the ground, what the hell is happening to this insane town? Cheryl!

_(He calls out his daughter's name than runs to the other side of the stage, miming calling out Cheryl's name. JAMES SUNDERLAND walks on stage clutching a letter.)_

JAMES: What do you do when under ground you're dead wife sends you letter from the grave where she fell? You start to doubt reality, turnin' to insanity, what do you do when you're faced with a love that's from hell? Damn!

HARRY: _(Ducking and trying to resist it.) _Now the darkness is coming!

JAMES: _(Throwing up his arms angrily.) _We'd better start running!

BOTH: _(Out to the audience.) _How we gonna play, how we gonna play, how we gonna play Silent Hill?

_(HENRY TOWNSHEND walks out on stage.)_

HENRY: What do you do when the tables turn and now you're stuck in hell and there's hell to pay? How do you decide between rooms when you're trapped in you're own and you're only road out is one way?

HARRY: Turn to the truth for lies!

HENRY: Insane holes!

JAMES: And dead wives!

ALL: How we gonna play? How we gonna play? How we gonna play Silent Hill?

_(The camera lights up on a darkened part of the stage. The other's go quiet and still as small mall phone counter comes into view with HEATHER MASON talking into the phone to her father which is future Harry Mason.)_

HEATHER: Oh dad, yeah it's me, Heather. Yeah, I'm on my way home. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Am I alright? I'm perfectly fine. Am I comin home? I'll take the subway. I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home. Grabbed the thing on my way? Well, actually, I kinda forgot…Okay dad, I love you too. _(Hangs up phone and walks center.) _How do keep you're cool when you were happy and safe and now that's all gone? Oh, what happened in that town? Where's everyone gone? My heads pounding and oh…_(Drops to the ground clutching her head.) _I feel sick.

HARRY: Cheryl…where is she?

HEATHER: _(Still on ground.) _Getting dizzy.

ALL: How we gonna play? How we gonna play? How we gonna play Silent Hill?

_(This is where Benny's solo is sung, we just use the music. Heather gets to her feet and the four characters (who had all been standing with James and Harry in the front and Henry and Heather behind them but between their bodies to be seen.) All dash to the person behind and in front of theirs spot. Heather switches with Harry and Henry with James. Harry and Heather sing simultaneously. Heather starts to sing with Harry, dropping to her knees in pain, a somewhat younger girl's voice coming to her as she says words that are not her own but a memory.) _

HARRY: _(Simoutaneously with Heather.) _Dark forces gathering. Dark forces are gathering. Can't resist them. Dark forces are gathering.

HEATHER: _(Simoutaneously with Harry.) _Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. Uggghhhh...Daddy...ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. Uggghhhh...Where are you...ugh, ugh, ugh.

HARRY: My daughter, she's missing in this terrible town.

_(A replica of Henry's room door appears on stage. Stuck back in _The Room, _he runs over and starts to bang on the door.)_

HENRY: Someone, please let me out!

JAMES: Mary, my dead wife, she beckoned me back.

HENRY: …The door's been chained to the inside!

HEATHER: I know that there must be something I've been running from. Hello?

HENRY and JAMES: We all wait for daylights warm glow!

JAMES: Hello?

HARRY: Cheryl?

_(There is a loud crackling of static. All characters turn their head's in confusion.)_

JAMES: Does this radio work?

HEATHER: What's going on I need to know!

ALL: Why do we try to escape our past when are past is what we have left? In this town we all learn that there are fates worst than death! How can we remember things that love and fear and regret made us forget? We unleash these fears and memories into a town full of truth and lies!

HARRY: Draw a gun and fight for our loved ones life!

JAMES: Call each one by name…

HEATHER: And try to stay sane!

HENRY: Then things get rough…

ALL: We call our bluff! How we gonna play? How we gonna play? How we gonna play Silent Hill? Silent Hill! Silent Hill! Silent Hill! Silent Hill! HERE IN THIS TOWN FROM HELL!!!

**Tell us if you think its crappy or not!**

**B'Way Babie's Brother: I think it's crappy.**

…


	2. Secret Garden

**B'Way Babie: Hello everyone. My brother just fell asleep on me (I can't blame him!) so I'll be introducing this next number by myself before I get some sleep too. Please review, I stayed up late to put this up for you guys. This next song is from the not as widely well known show called Secret Garden which I was in last year. I understand there are different Secret Garden musicals, but hopefully you'll know this one. This is the song Where in the World sung by James. The other song has no specific title but in the actual show it is the solo that follows the characters throughout the whole show sung by Lily as she beckons people to her garden. I made it so that it's Mary beckoning James to the town: )**

_(Mary Sunderland walks out into middle stage. A light shines down on her like a heavenly light as she stares almost wistfully out into the audience. The music starts up. She sings out to James wherever he may be, her voice angelic and beautiful.)_

**MARY:** Come to our town, nestled in the fog. There I'll see you come to me, come to my song. Come to our town, as days grow further apart. Come to our town, come sweetheart.

_(There is a brief blackout and a dim light lights up over James Sunderland. James stands over a sink and with a mirror in front of him. He repeats the movements in the game. The music starts up. James sings, his voice low and full of distraught and melancholy.)_

**JAMES:** I see this man in the mirror, I wonder if he is sane. Why can he not accept that in your grave you must remain? When he hears you're voice, he turns and sees a stranger's form and face. Why me he wanders round tormented place to place, to place, to place? _(James straightens up from the mirror and turns away, singing to himself. The lights go up more fully. The drop now is from the beginning of the second game with the trees looking out toward Toluca Lake.)_ Where can I turn so I won't find you, where can I find a place to hide? Why does you're memory chase me, haunt me? Every step you seem to be there, beside me. _(Walks down stage. James's his angry and distraught hand gestures with the song build the dramatic mood and the melancholy in his face is heart wrenching.) _Where is the world, tell me where in the world can I live without you're lost? Tell why in the world, why the hell should I find the happiness I lost? I thought you had left, left me, why do you claim to be alive? Is someone trying to scare me, mock me, or have you truly never left this world without me? Tell me why in the world, why in the world, do the dead not leave us in peace? Why in the hell, why the hell, does this mean my love is not deceased? In the letter…_(Spoken.) _Mary…are you really here?

_(A single light appears over Mary. She holds out her hands toward her husband encouragingly. James sees her.)_

**JAMES: **Mary?!

_(James runs over to her but before he can quite reach her,_ _the light above her disappears and she along with it. James, discouraged, looks sadly at where she had been standing. A few notes from the Come to My Town song play, making James move from his spot and realize what he truly needs to do. Go to Silent Hill. James runs off stage.)_

**B'Way Babie: Okay people, review please so I can continue!**


	3. Avenue Q

**Amy: Yay, I love this show!**

**Jeremy: Cheese!**

**Amy: Okay then, moving along. Our next song is from the hit Broadway Musical Avenue Q! **

**Jeremy: in this one, Vincent plays my favorite character in it! Yay! I would like to send a shout-out to my viewers, and say if you like this, please send us reviews.**

**Amy: Uh, yeah, sure, some reviews would be great.**

**Jeremy: If you were gay, I'd shout, hurray! But I'm not gay!**

**Amy: Get the show running.**

_(The stage is dark except for a lone light shining on Travis who stands holding a suitcase. The music What Do You Do With a B.A. in English/ It sucks to be me from Avenue Q starts up.)_

Travis: What do you do, with a gun and a hammer? What is my life coming to be? Four years of being sober, I never got drunker; I still ended up a trucker! I can't remember my childhood, I still have the nightmares, and now I have demons I must face! But somehow I can't shake, the feeling a might make it out alive, from this freaky place!

_(That lights dim on Travis and show Heather Mason walking toward Henry Townshend. Ashfeild Height from SH4 is the backdrop.)_

_Heather: Mornin' Henry!_

_Henry: Hello Heather._

_Heather: How's life?_

_Henry: Disappointing._

_Heather: How come?_

_Henry: The company laid me off._

_Heather: Oh, I'm sorry._

_Henry: Me too, I'm mean, I'm six years out of college and I always thought-nah!_

_Heather: What?_

_Henry: It's nothing._

_Heather: Aww, come on!_

Henry: When I was little, my father said I'd be…

_Heather: Uh huh?_

Henry: A big time photographer for People Weekly!

_Heather: Oh._

Henry: And now I'm twenty eight and as you can see…I'm not.

_Heather: Nope._

Henry: Oh well. It sucks to be me!

_Heather: Come on!_

Henry: It sucks to be me!

_Heather: No!_

Henry: It sucks to be unemployed and being taunted from Richard Braintree, it sucks to be me!

_Heather: You think your life sucks?_

_Henry: I think so!_

_Heather: Your problems aren't so bad. _I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart!

_Henry: You are!_

_Heather: Thanks! _I've been to hell and back which has really toughened me up! And as you know I am the designated mother of g-d, so why don't I have a boyfriend? It sucks to be me!

Henry: Me too!

Heather: It sucks to be me!

Henry: It sucks to be broke.

Heather: To not be real bait!

Henry: To not have a job!

Heather: To not have a date!

Henry and Heather: It sucks to be me!

_(Vincent and Claudia enter stage right, arguing.)_

Vincent: Shut up!

Claudia: No-you go to hell!

Vincent: Right after you!

Henry: Hey Claudia, Vincent, you gotta sec?

Claudia: What?

Heather: Whose life sucks more, Henry's or mine?

Vincent and Claudia: Psh, ours!

Claudia: We work together!

Vincent: As close as people can get!

Claudia: We've been the worse of enemies…

Vincent: Ever since the day we met!

Claudia: So he knows lots of ways to make g-d really upset!

Vincent: Oh yeah?

Claudia: Every day he disrupts the congregation!

Vincent: Come on that's an exaggeration!

Claudia: You leave the pray books out, and for that you'll go to hell!

Vincent: Oh yeah? You do such a-hole things like getting people to birth Samael!

Claudia: You're intolerable and greedy, you'll burn in hell!

Vincent: So will you, if I got to hell, your coming to!

Heather: It sucks to be me!

Henry: It sucks to be me!

Vincent: It sucks to be me!

Claudia: It sucks to be me!

All: Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me!

Heather: Dun dun dun dun dun!

Henry: Dun dun dun dun dun.

Vincent: Da dun dun da dun!

Claudia: Da dun da dun da dun!

Heather: Dun dun dun dun dun!

Henry: Dun dun dun dun dun.

Vincent: Da dun dun da dun

Claudia: Da dun da dun da dun!

_(Eileen enters.)_

_Eileen: Why are you guys so happy?_

_Henry: Our lives suck!_

_Eileen: You think that your life sucks? Ha! _I moved into this apartment, for tranquility. I almost got killed, the stitches from being a sacrifice still kills me! And in good time I hope to become a normal person, but now, I go to a therapist, I have nightmares everyday, I have an unemployed fiancée, and _he_ has lots of bills to pay! It sucks to be me! It sucks to be me! I said it sucka sucka sucka sucka sucka sucka suck, to be me!

_(Travis O'Grady-the newbie Silent Hill character-enters.)_

_Travis: Hey, more Silent Hill characters! Oh yeah, I need a joint to crash._

_Eileen: Why are you looking all the way out here? _

_Travis: I'm dead broke._

_Henry: You'll have to talk to the manager. Hey Frank!_

_Frank: I'm coming, I'm coming!_

_(Frank Sunderland enters!)_

_Travis: Oh my gosh its- wait, who are you?_

_Frank: Yeah. _My name is Frank Sunderland, from Silent Hill 4! I made a brief appearance even they said I'd make more! No one knows me, and my son got to be the star, so I'm here, the superintendent, in Ashfield Heights! It sucks to be me!

_All: You win!_

_Henry: Heh, I feel better now! _**(Schadenfreude.) **

Frank: Try having the producer come up to tell you: _"Sorry, we have to cut out most of your scenes!"_

All: It sucks to be you! In Ashfield Heights! Sucks to be me, on Ashfeild Heights. Sucks to be you, on Ashfeild Heights. Sucks to be us on Ashfeild Heights, but not when we're together, we're together on Ashfeild Heights, we live on Ashfield Heights, where the monsters bite. As we hug and fight, we live on Ashfield Heights!

_Travis: This is definitely not reality._

All: We live on Ashfield Heights!

_Vincent: Your gonna love it here. I know I do!_

All: We live on Ashfield Heights!

_Frank:_ _Here are your keys!_

All: Welcome, to Ashfield Heights!


End file.
